#MeToo, From Justice to Self Inflicted Wounds
We have all heard of the latest #MeToo movement that has started, but one has to ask, is this going to more hurt the women then it is going to help? When does this go from aiding to hurting? When men tire of this and decide it is best to not hire in or put women in a place when you will ever deal with them one on one again.
One may think this question is rather extreme, but I don’t think it is. The reason is really simple, when you as a guy are worried that possibly what you said, how you interacted with a woman, what is normal for that time later may be considered out of bounds, then 25 or 35 years later accusation is raised that can destroy what you have worked your whole life for, that is what #MeToo has turned into.
Now I have to be blunt here, my memory is gone, my wife blames it on youthful indiscretion (and there were a lot), I blame it on my 12-year-old, I swear he sucked the brains right out of my head, but my memory is nothing like it used to be.
But here is the whole problem, in a nutshell, you ask me where I was three days ago I would be hard-pressed to tell you, I simply wouldn’t remember, but a month ago, forget it. Dates, I forgot more then I remember, so if you are going to accuse me of something 35 years ago or 37 years ago when I was 18 to 20 I would laugh at you then tell you, I smoked so much weed back then I am lucky I am still alive, not to mention the Grateful Dead concerts and the acid I did back then, I don’t remember a thing. I have seen the pictures, but I swear it was the best time I have ever had that I don’t remember. If someone brought up this time period, I would say, “Give me a break, I thought trees were chasing me and stones could talk. You want me to remember this, I have fragments, that is all!”
I also have a huge problem forcing someone out of what they are doing today for something they did before they were on the job, or worse, trying to tell a senator or congressman that due to an accusation they are no longer able to serve, when does this end? And what about due process? We now have businesses firing on a word of a confidential informant.
Here is another problem, I don’t remember names at all, might be why I call everyone hon, even guys sometimes (those are in my absent-minded moments. You want to get weird looks, try this), I am not flirting with them, I honestly don’t remember their names, I am terrible at it. And let me tell you guys, you want to end up in a dog house, if you don’t remember the girl you were with last night, don’t just make up a name unless you want to see some unsightly things hit the fan (trust me, it is from experience I am telling you, decided long ago hon was a safe word).
In the end, I think what will happen is this will like all other things cool down, but if it doesn’t, expect sooner or later to have a backlash against women to come about, if guys think that it is not safe to talk with them, look at them or have any conversation, then they will suffer.
Look at it this way, I have four positions in my business, I have six people I interview, 4 are guys and two are women, if I think I could face hassles in my business because this is going out of control, why on earth would I hire a woman, I would hire the men, even if they were less qualified.
One other thing, I was watching the above interview with Tucker the other night, got me thinking so I started to do research on the claim that only men do this and the new phenomena #MeToo.
In the episode Tucker spoke of a Harvard Graduate apologized for commenting on what girls were attractive, how he felt this was terrible for objectifying students, so he wrote an article apologizing, guess in today’s upside-down world, men doing this are in the wrong. Seems they have forgotten biology, that is how we human’s function, men notice attractive women, women do the same with men.
In the episode this woman comes on Tucker, Cathy Areu, managing director for Catalina Magazine (must be a good reason why I used this idiotic news journal to start my fires so long ago, now I know), she came on to give the progressive idea of why this #MeToo was a good thing, and calling out men for objectifying women was bad, by her accounts, men are the only ones that rape, women can objectify men, but they don’t rape, so who cares about them.
I have to add, my wife was watching this episode with me, started to laugh, she said, “If you think you men check out women and see who is hot, don’t for a second think we girls don’t do it!” But while watching the episode I started to think, only men do sexual crimes, the women do it so little it is not spoken about, why is that? So I started to research, what I found even surprised me.
According to the journal Sexual victimization perpetrated by women: Federal data reveal surprising prevalence, the researchers stress that while they are in no way intending to minimize the impact of sexual violence perpetrated by men, that their results are vital when considering “stereotypes between sexual victimization and gender.” When I showed this to my better half she looked at me with those all-knowing eyes and said, “Didn’t I tell you when #MeToo came out that women can be as bad as men?” She then did what she does quite often, glared at me for not listening to her the first time she told me. But back to the subject.
Looking at data from the Center For Disease Control’s Survey, researchers found that in 2011 equal numbers of men and women reported being forced into non-consensual sex.
Similarly, the 2010 survey showed comparable results estimating that nearly 4.5 million men in the US had, at some stage in their lives, been forced to penetrate another person and that in 79.2 percent of cases, the perpetrator forcing the sexual act was a woman.
Stemple’s team also considered data from the U.S. Census Bureau which revealed that in 2012, a study of a percentage women and men who admitted to forcing sex found that 43.6 percent of that subset were women, compared to 56.4 percent of men.
So then I must ask if there is not that much difference between the numbers, why are we always only told this is a man problem, looks like it goes both ways, this is further covered in an article called “Female Sex Offenders Are More Popular Then You Think”. In this they break down the statistics, but also show that female on male sexual assault is almost as common as men on women, so I have to ask, is this #MeToo going to backfire, when are we going to start seeing guys come up and start making the same claim?
But this also brings up a taboo subject with men, while it is being OK for girls to talk about, guys sure don’t, might be other guys may look at them like they are crazy then ask for the person’s number, that is after all the way society has taught us. There is also the case of many guys will tell you that you can’t be raped, you have to be aroused to have sex, well I hate to break it to you, but your other head, you know, the only head you thought with during your teen years, that has a conscious of its own, it could care less if you are aroused or not, it will and can be even without you willing it to be. Remember those awkward teen moments? Yep, nothing more needs to be said here.
So while this #MeToo is a good thing at first, I fear that it is escalating out of control, exactly as I stated in an article I wrote November 21, HAS THE SEXUAL ASSAULT HYSTERIA GONE TOO FAR? I was worried then this could morph into something that was not intended, now almost 3 weeks later I am really worried about it and think it has.